A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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