no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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