apparently the secret to your success is patron
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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