last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
we should paint friendship bongs
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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