Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
