party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
What a dumb baby whore.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
