i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Two words: blizzard sex
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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