Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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