awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
