So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I bet he comes in French.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
