I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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