Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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