I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
