I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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