I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
