The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
