oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
