Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
