I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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