How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
