would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
