Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
