Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
