This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
