we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
