I heard we made out
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm at about main and main street
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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