I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
