just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
