i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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