Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
