I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
