So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
