Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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