You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Green mimosas i think yes
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
