So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
There's even glitter on my cock...
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