He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You've changed since you got that strap on
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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