My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
