Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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