Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
