A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i think my tv is drunk
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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