I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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