The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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