Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
