Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
