I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she looked like the before picture.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Randomize
