I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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