yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
