My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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