I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
