I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
