but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
