I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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