apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I think I won the penis lottery.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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