Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My life is pants optional.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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