where am i from again
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
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You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
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I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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