Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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