when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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