you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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