have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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